Surviving Sandy

After all the warnings and advice I’d received going into the latest meteorological herpes flareup, the only thing I knew was that the giant tree branch that fell and blocked the driveway during Hurricane Issac last year sure as shit wasn’t going to try that again.  However, Super Storm Sandy remained hopelessly devoted to me and breezed through my neighborhood with nothing more than some wind and rain.

(Credit: Tom Hale/Jezebel)

After I pried all the boards off the windows and put the galoshes away,  I finally got around to trying something I’ve been planning on doing for awhile-making cheese!  I made me some fresh ricotta cheese with just a gallon of whole milk, some vinegar, and an 80’s movie montage.  And it was delicious!

“Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?!”

But after the cheese was done, Sandra Dee was still wreckin’ shop all over the East Coast, and everything was closed, so I took it a few steps further.  I took some of my new cheese and made fresh ricotta gnocchi with sage brown butter, mushrooms, and the leftover lobster from Saturday.  You now, the kinda thing that the personal chefs of billionaires or unemployed food enthusiasts do all day long.

And then for dessert, the blood of the middle class.

But enough of me telling you how awesome I am, since we both already totally know it. (Also, I’m cuter than a ragtag bunch of orphans with adorable button noses singing Christmas carols.) At what point did people decide that they liked open-toed beach shoes so much that they let it represent their whole family.  I have never been a fan of car decals that let potential pedophiles know which bus stop to scope out, but seriously, FLIP FLOPS?! Hakuna Matata, dude! You love the beach and just chillaxin’, and so does the fam.  How can you best demonstrate this to everyone in the mall parking lot?

“We go to the shore once a summer, and we want everyone to know!”

Do you have decals on the back of your minivan? Are the stick figures? Are there pets too? What did you do to survive Hurricane Sandy?  Are you OK?  Did you lose power? A tree? Something worse? Have you entered the photo caption contest in my last post?  Do you think your post is clever enough to win?


About Ziggy Smallz

I rarely commit to anything, especially blogging. That is, except eating. I like to constantly taste new things. Whether it's a Bangkok back alley soup stand, or some weird veggie I pickled myself, I want to eat it. Except eggplant, because I'm strangely allergic to it.
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