I was sexting my close friend Tootie the other day, and she said something that really made me think. “Ziggy,” she said, “There’s a time you got to go and show that you’re growin’ now, and you know about the facts of life.” And you know what? Tootie was right! I realized that suddenly I’m finding out that the facts of life are all about me! And science!
For instance, when I mix some fresh vegetables with salt and other fun stuff in a jar and let it sit on the counter for a few days, microorganisms show up and make the kitchen smell like ass. However, that butt smell is slowly turned into funky flavor and in a week I’m eatin’ pickles like a Korean farmer! I guess I could tell you all about the process of water evaporation, whereby the essential enzymes and bacteria are formed and create delicious flavors, and to be honest, most of you would find it interesting, but you can google it, same as I did. This blog is not for recipes and science facts. It’s purely an outlet for my gangnam style.
Also, I’m glad this election season is over. I’m happy to no longer see campaign ads that didn’t tell me what you’re going to do right, only what the other guy was doing wrong. And regardless of who you voted for, I’m sure most of you feel the same way. How about some platforms and ideas everyone! Let’s concentrate on the future, and more importantly, lets find me a job. As much as I love sitting in the kitchen all day preparing elaborate meals for my amazing fiance and trying to figure out what 80’s jam Upstairs Bobby is listening to by analyzing the beats coming through the ceiling (Hint: It’s almost always Phil Collins or Cory Hart), it’s time to head back into the land of paychecks.
Do you like kimchi or other weird fermented things? Did you ever try to make them yourself? Did you know it only basically requires a bowl and some salt? Do you have a job for me? Does it pay more than unemployment does? Did you know I was thinking about volunteering? Is it still rewarding when I’m not working, or will it be more like research in case things get real bad? I fixed a broken shelf today too. That’s a skill, right?